Hello, it has been a bit since I have written – thought about it, drafted it, but didn’t post it – why….EXPECTATIONS. They can help and they can hinder us. I realized after a fantastic conversation with a good friend last night….[isn’t it great how sometimes you just need that one person to hold that mirror up to you and help you see truth]… that I was stopping myself. So grateful my circle has those friends in it….truth to me with grace and love and expects the same from me.
It was after that conversation that I understood I was holding back simply because of expectations. I knew someone once who said you should never have any expectations of anything or anyone – otherwise you “suffer.” I disagree. I believe expectations can motivate you but should not hinder you. I have high expectations of myself and often that has hindered relationships with others who don’t. I could not imagine what if would feel like to have someone tell me they have no expectations of me….I think that would bother me. I also cannot imagine having none of myself really. Why bother if you have zero expectations? Having said all that, I do think having unrealistic expectations or using those expectation as a crutch can be harmful.
I was allowing my expectation for this little blog – my next step – to hinder me from writing it. What if no one likes it or reads it? What if “they” make fun of it and mock it? What if “they” don’t share it? What if “they” blah, blah, blah. Well – what if “they” do? It will only impact me if I let it stop me from trying…how does that help me? It doesn’t. “They” only have the power I give “them.” Someone asked me who my target audience is for this and how will I market it. Target is me to be honest. Target is you if you want to have a conversation with me (which I would truly welcome). My target is kindness, encouragement and coffee. 🙂
Maybe it’s age or resilience or realizing how much time I have wasted in the past and not wanting to waste anymore that— lead me here. Taking more chances, sharing more positivity, trying every day to be better and with that, being OK when I falter. Owning that misstep, failure or fall and getting back up and going forward. In that vein I have taken to asking a short list of people I trust and know will be honest with me about me. My pastor once encouraged us to ask the hard questions of ourselves to others for understanding that “it may be you.” Last night was one of those conversations and I am so grateful to this angel of a friend…one I have had for more than 25 years now for her honesty, grace and kindness. I had no expectations for the result of the conversation but so at peace after it.
Expectations can motivate and encourage for sure. Don’t let them hinder or discourage you. Understand too that the expectations you have for yourself often do not translate well to others. I have come to understand expectations of general respect, courtesy and manners from others are well founded. Expectations that someone else will be to you as you are for them, or do as you do when doing anything is not a good use of your energy. That does not mean you accept what you believe is unacceptable behavior, but it does mean you step back, be kind, be clear and do what you thinks is right.
My expectations now are for me and me alone. My expectations for Morning Coffee & Conversation is to speak with you, share a bit of me, learn more about you and just how much we all have in common. Share some fun, some truth, and why nots. I want us to support each other and ultimately have a safe place for sharing.
Have the best day – do you and try new. If it works GREAT, if it doesn’t, you have one more valuable lesson under you belt and a new way to proceed. Expect the best….for yourself.
Take care of you and I wish you today, as in all days, a good day.