A friend of mine said, “embrace the suck” to me recently and it got me thinking…yes, why don’t we embrace the suck? We all have those days, why not just acknowledge it and own it? My friend, when she said this, was in the process of hosting – in a socially distant manner- me and three good friends, a five year old, her own toddler and husband in a busy house with a brand new puppy. Her spirit of it all was just fun and as we were bringing things outside, I asked her… “How do you do it?” Her response, with a smile was… “embrace the suck.”
When it was hectic, loud, busy, and uncertain…. she grabbed on to it and owned it. That attitude was one that kept everyone at ease, unmoved by the not so perfect table setting, paper plates, crowded countertop, dishes in the sink and lots of noise. It allowed us to enjoy the reason we were there…to see each other.
Of course, this got me to thinking more about the phrase. Most of us, especially on social media want to share only our highlight reels. Few want to share the dust bunnies, the disheveled kitchen, laundry piled up or undone morning hair. Why not? We all have them, we all struggle with them and we all could use a “you got this” when it happens. Is it a fear of failure, fear of seeming vulnerable or fear of judgment?
Over time I have come to appreciate the times when it just sucks….it just does. Bad day, bad phone call, crappy workday, just a mood or something far more serious. Of course, you don’t want to wallow there, but I learned this through a past tragedy… feel what you feel when you feel it; It passes much more quickly. I have found the same is true on “regular” bad days. Having that one person you can call and say… “I’m having a day” is great, but if not….just let it be. Without fail I have come to realize once I say it, own it and think…ok Kath….you are moody today….it isn’t so bad. I have stop analyzing it or trying to fully understand it. Maybe it’s hormones (heaven knows at my age they are completely screwed up, but that is a subject for another time), maybe someone hurt my feelings, maybe I screwed up at work or I was less than kind to someone…whatever the reason…. It happens.
Now, I am not making light of some very serious life situations that can occur. But even then, I have found bad is bad but with time, support, and self-awareness… you get to the other side. Start here…stop saying everything is great when it’s not. No, don’t vomit life’s disasters all over someone when they ask, but you can say…having a tough time right now but I am getting to the other side; or it’s been a day but it isn’t going to stop me; or as my friend said to me…..I’m “embracing the suck.”
When you see the beauty that is you – all of you – you will see too that this, the sucky stuff, is also a part. It is so freeing to say it out loud, not apologize for it and know you have the opportunity to make it better, make you better.
Even the “suck” can be ok… it is part of who we are, our lives, out adventures and our every day. It all makes up this beautiful mosaic of who we are…yes even the “suck” is part of the beauty of us. Remember, broken pieces can make for a lovely piece of art. Embrace those broken pieces that are part of you and honor those pieces and the scars of your life. It tells you, you are resilient, you are beautiful, you are that piece of art!
Embrace the Suck.
Today, as in all days, I wish you a good day.